As a Mum I constantly find myself singing songs to my toddler whether we are finishing up a task or moving on to another activity. Sometimes it is just the most random, made up tune that my daughter and I get in the groove to. However, I now find it one of my greatest parenting tools that I can use with my kids.
Case in point, we recently did a trip out to the shops together. As we were wrapping up making the most of some epic discounts, my daughter discovered some beautiful 3,000 thread count linen in the store and decided that was where she was going to park up (with her shoes on!). Now, I have to love her taste in this beautiful linen choice (she gets it from her mama), but we all know that as parents with toddlers that when you are out and about - it's a get in, get out kind of morning. So imagine my frustration when I am constantly telling my toddler "come on, let's go/it's time to go" and the selective hearing kicks in (she gets that part from her dad). As a parent I am constantly learning that each day I am not trying to control my kids' behaviour, but control my own behaviour. Let's be realistic here, we don't have perfect days and their jobs as our kids are to test us a push boundaries right?! But sheesh....
Looking at the situation and noticing that we were in a public setting as well we had to do something different. The 'asking 3 times' and change in my tone was doing absolutely nothing. So, let's resonate - how can I get her onboard without putting her under my arm like a football and carrying her out of the shop screaming and kicking? In our household, we love a dance party! We're talking Taylor Swift, Natasha Beddingfield and right down to Moana and Frozen. This was my opportunity to use music into getting her to come with me (and getting those glorious shoes off the expensive linen!).
Why the thought of music? Music has a great effect on toddlers where it will influence their emotions, behaviours and even cognitive development. It can guide toddler's actions, help to soothe their emotions and also encourage learning. It is such a powerful tool for influencing and managing our little one's behaviour. It can help engage emotions, improve focus and create a positive environment. If your little one is also non-verbal then this is a great communication tool. Here's are some ways in which we find music to be powerful:
Encouraging Cooperation
I don't know about you, but my kids HATE getting their hands and faces clean after a meal. We've tried getting them to do it, holding them still and even a different cloth material! So something as simple as "clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere, everybody do your share" made all the difference.
Regulating Emotions
Slower tunes and a change in your voice can help regulate emotions and calm an upset toddler. But upbeat and energetic songs can also lift their mood if you're in the position of needing motivation. It can help with regulation by releasing energy to let loose, as well as calming to bring back down as part of your wind down routine.
Redirecting behaviour
For things like resisting bath time, a song can help to shift their focus and make it enjoyable. Songs with positive messages around sharing and patience for example can reinforce those social-emotional skills.
Setting routines and transitions
As well as encouraging cooperation, using songs for usual daily activities e.g nap time, meal time, clean-up etc can help our little ones recognise these cues and help the transition between tasks.
A non-verbal communication tool
Thos little ones who are non-verbal or have communication challenges can respond well to music as a form of instruction and expression. Using prompt actions like stand up or sit down is great.
We now integrate music into our everyday and when needed we use its persuasive power to help this crazy and beautiful journey called parenting. By doing this we have created a structured environment to encourage learning, cooperation and emotional wellbeing. As always, we'd love to know if you have found yourself navigating a sticky situation using music!
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